“Be the bridge, be the light. When iron melts, when flowers spring from fields of blood—let the land be witness, and return home.”
Rating for the Throne of Glass series ~~ ⭐⭐⭐ stars
Well well, here I am.
7 books later.
And no, none of them is in a good way.
The thing I’ve learnt about SJM books is that you either fall catastrophically in love or hate with a burning passion. But I’m somewhat in the middle.
Here is a chart
Growls, groans, Velvet Wrapped Steel, toes curling are just some of the things ill never look at the same again.
After trying and failing magnificently to write a review for the previous books, I am finally writing one now.
SO buckle up everyone cause it’s going to be bUmPy
This will be a review or a rant for the entire series
It has MAJOR spoilers
Lets start with the plot
WELCOME, to the world of SJM where everyone is unnecessarily paired up, toes curl, random magic shows up and everyone belongs to the same cult
We had ToG, where everyone competed for a gRaNd pRiCe aka being the assassin.
All that buildup in the first two books about the competition and kingdom is thrown out for the next book which has no relevance to CoM
The HoF buildup is thrown out for the next 3 books
So its basically like a duology, a standalone and then a trilogy
And this is one of those books where if u ask me to name all the books in the series I would take an half hour to remember them all
Me visually trying to understand wtf is going on in the book
So WTF is up with this book?
So basically it’s about Celaena Sardotherin Miss sPeShUl who is apparently the best of best. Its basically her boring not so boring life story
Joining her are some white characters who you might think are actually worth reading about.
But no they are not
This is a story of straight white characters doing shit.
I kept waiting. And waiting that at one point, the story would actually begin, the characters would actually do something. But surprise surprise, it never happened.
And this book is so fucking long that most of the times I look at myself in the mirror and wonder
What the hell am I doing with my life
And imagine my horror ~ reading ACOTAR and KoA at the same time
Future authors if u are ever looking for a way to extend your series even if they don’t need it, if you want to make it 900 ps long even though it could have been a novella
Look no further as SJM is your new master
Believe me when I say I actually enjoyed the first 300 pgs. Then it just went downhill from there. The next 500 pgs were just fillers like dude I spent 10 days just reading about them doing nothing. The last 100 pgs got better
And then there was that ending
You think that an ending to such a widely popular series would be Epic with a capital E. But again, we were wrong.
That was the most anticlimactic thing I’ve ever read.
You’re telling me it took Yrene a whole 600 pgs book to heal Chaol Wasteful Westfall but it only took her 3 pgs to heal Erawan
Where is the logic???????????????????????
And soo much buildup for the keys
And poof went all the fucking buildup
And how is it that everyone came out alive without any injury
It is so unrealistic.
ANd most of the time the authors like
We have a problem. What is the solution, what is the solution
The world building is so confusing. I dont know if its my retarded brain or the fact that we have too many stories that I get confused about.
I keep looking up every fucking character.
Like who’s Mab
Can u actually believe me when I say that I thought Erawan was actually a place rather than the almighty evil character lmao?
Im like Why are they trying to kill Erawan.
How can thou kill a place?
Its a character
Followed by me banging my head against the wall
Aelin swallowed against the thickness in her throat, her tongue peeling off the roof of her mouth.
This is such a beautifully written phrase wipes of tears
The writing was so boring. And weird. Like why mam cant you use normal human language.
Also what is up with the whole use of males and females
That is the weirdest thing
The female growled, viciously enough that the male wisely went to see about their drinks.
fEmAlEs and mAlEs
The word repetition….I can’t even begin to fathom how one can use a word soo many times.
Here is a count
Groan – 54
Growl – 45
Smile – 320
Female – 41
Male – 154
Purr – 15
Throat – 145
Mate – 130
Ellipses – 347
Snarl – 93
And there is soo much toxicity going on here. The first two books were stupid. But then there were just
The whole claiming thing and the biting omg would you just stop already I cannot take it anymore.
These characters should definitely check with a psychiatrist
The whiteness,the straightness, the toxicity and the whole thing where the book lacks a plot made this series a bad experience for me
Lets rant about the characters
First of all, let me say that all of the characters are same
-all are white
-all are straight
-All the women get paired up with douchebags and men get paired up with angels
-All have a tRaUmAtIc pAsT
-All are physically strong
-All are too beautiful
See what i mean?
The reason why I have used the full names of characters is bcz it was told to us so many times, i can even say it when Im sleeping
Aelin “I am not afraid” Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius
Aelin was one of the characters I absolutely hated at the start. She was rude, obnoxious and the mist shallow person on the whole earth
But here I am telling you she is the most developed character in the entire series.
She went from being the all bark no bite character to all bite no bark person.
She was rude, snarky, sassy flawed yet a nice person in the last 3 books. If I had actually this side of Aelin in the first books, there is a high chance I would have actually liked series better. But no, ofc how can that happen, how can we have a good MC
She is one of those characters that has ~actual brains~. And that is so hard to find lmao these days. And she’s flawed. I really liked that.
But the one thing I hated was how everyone literally worships the ground she walks on. ANd how the author treats her like this great character who is sPeShul. No just stop I can’t take it
SJM takes good characters and spoils them 😐
Rowan “Territorial Fae” Whitethorn Galathynius
Rowan started out a character that I was absolutely in love with
Then came a book called Empire of Storms
And then I broke up with him.
The thing you should know about SJM’s characters is that they either become awesome or just become very very bad characters
Rowan is the second case
In HOF, he was my everything. Brave, dreamy hot and talented. He always called out miss sPeShUl out on her rudeness and punished her. It was nice to see aftr everyone kept worshipping her. And then QoS…I liked him there. He was still snarky but he became soft for Aelin.
Okay fine, you’re in love or some shit like that.
Then came EoS…….
Not only was he stupid, but he was also so toxic. Like dude stop biting Aelin. She is NOT FOOD. Stop claiming her. Stop saying she belongs to you
She doesn’t. SHE IS A HUMAN OR FAE WHATEVER BUT NOT AN OBJECT.
I cant believe SJM just objectified one of her characters.
And all of the traits I loved about him…poof
Snarky? Not anymore
Sassy? Not anymore
Smart? Not anymore
Hot? Oh yes def yes
But that is not what we’re talking about here👀
Look I do like Rowan okay? He’s a good guy, extremely loyal and caring and loving. But I think SJM dumbed down his charcater
Chaol “Wasteful” Westfall
Chaol started out as a character I liked. He was the dark mysterious guy. I love characters like that.
And in CoM, I actually pitied him. He seemed like a morally grey character. And you know I love that. But ofc, the author cant leave it at that
HoF Chaol = white bread.
And finally, he was redeemed again in QoS. he basically screamed at Aelin for being so irresponsible and I was basically shouting
“YOU GO BOI YAS YAS YAS”
Then guess what he did?
He moped around for the entire fucking book
And then I lost it. I knew I would never love him. If he’s going to beg at Aelin’s feet then I shall punch his wasteful face. The next books in the series, he was in the background being useless. So yeah, hence the name
Dorian “Horny” Haviliard
Dorian like Chaol started out as a character I adored. He was the king of cinnamon rolls. SO VERY CUTEEEE.
And I felt so bad for him, bcz Aelin left him and Chaol was being useless as usual. Then he fell in love with Sorscha (idek whyyy the author did that! It is the most useless plot point lmao)
And she died. Then he was possessed by a valg demon.
Poor guy, thought Nashita
But I keep getting proved wrong.
Dorian became someone I didn’t know. He was rude, obnoxious, irritating and OML so horny. I couldn’t take it. I was mentally disturbed for days *barfs*
I really really hate hate him
Manon “I feel feelings” Blackbeak
Manon oh Manon. I really like her!
Ok she’s super evil and sassy. ANd I love that. From the first time I read about her, I loved her and I still do! I think she was one of the best characters here and I appreciate her.
Poor girl had to lose her 13 and Asterin
I always thought she was bi. And I really thought she would run run away from Dorian. And live alone in ~peace~
The author had to pair up Dorian fucking Haviliard and Manon Blackbeak😭🔪🔪
Aedion “I am an angsty teenager” Ashryver
I HATED HIM
In QoS he was bearable~~
Then in the later books, he just got worse and worse. Like dude get a chill pill,stop being so extra. And I really really hated how he NEVER supported Lysandra. My poor darling she deserved better.
yea I get why he’s mad at the whole kids thing. His consent is needed! but why would he think Lysandra was lying abt her feelings? Whyyy there is no reason fr him to think that🔪
And lol Aelin cant tell him everything that’s going on. She’s too busy thinking up plans to tell him that she’s going to get herself killed. He acts like he’s the only one who’s suffering lol. Wat abt Lysandra? She knew what was going to happen and couldn’t do anything abt it. He doesn’t think abt her👀🔪
Excuse me while I murder him
Lysandra “I need better friends” Ashryver
Lysandra deserves SOO MUCH BETTER. She’s such a queen and I may or may not be in love with her👀
She is one of those characters who was consistent throughout the book. She was smart clever, beautiful and really brave.
She suffered soo much and I’m so glad she’s finally found happiness
And ughhh darling you deserve better than Mr. Angst
Elide “i deserve better” Lochan
I LOVE YOU ELIDE. She’s my top fav character. She’s so fun, sweet and nice. Like she will do anything for anyone. And I will do anything for her
Sweet sweet Elide who deserved better than what Aelin gave her
Lorcan “Elide deserves better” Salvattere
Lorcan Lorcan. He’s morally grey and I love that.
Fav character who?
He’s super loyal and totally in loveee with Elide. I love how he would do anything for those he loves.
I really don’t know what to say more oops
Fenrys is such a sweetheart like I can’t even-
My last 2 brain cells after finishing this book
Its safe to say I wasn’t a huge fan of the series
I spent 4 months of my life on this.
And I really regret that.
I will see you all soon when I regain the brain cells